Ever had the feeling of standing on the edge of a precipice? The precipice I'm standing on is called "change."
I'm not that fond of change - actually, I have to be dragged out of my comfort zone kicking and screaming.
Even writing this blogpost differently (first time on my iPad, I'm away from home, it's an unplanned, off-the-cuff post) is making me nervous!
Change, it seems, has taken up permanent residence in the backyard of my life this last year: starting with my dear father-in-law's death, my beloved Dad's strokes and final death to my adorable feline HRH Theodorable's death.
Not all the change has been sad: my niece got married, so I have a lovely new nephew, my second book A LAMP AT MIDDAY was published and I gave up sugar, sweets & cakes for a year to honor my Dad (and I've already lost nearly 20kgs!)
With all that, I thought Change had finished with me. Not so! My lovely mother-in-law is seriously ill and, instead of lolling about in the bush & blessed wilderness of the Kruger Park, we're here in Cape Town spending vitally important time with her.
All this has made me think deep & profound thoughts: why am I afraid of change? Change often sweeps out the old ways and habits, and makes way for the new - a spring clean of the soul. Spring cleans are good, aren't they? They're a lot of work and sometimes we can't see for the dust that's raised (unless you're a better housewife than I am!!)By the time one gets to the last room in the house, one is exhausted and wishing it were all over...but in the end everything is left clean and sparkly, with a great sense of achievement.
Despite my emotional exhaustion at the moment, and despite my anxiety about what the near future holds for my dear mom-in-law (and, by the commonality of their recent widowhood, my own Mom who is still grieving the loss of her soul mate after nearly 60 years together), there is an underlying sense of anticipation.
What will come into my life to fill up all these new shiny spaces in my life? How will I grow and evolve through them? Will I rise to the new challenges that all this change will bring with it?
There is a time for everything...and now is the time for change.
What changes are you experiencing in your life?