I’m busy reading a thought-provoking and engrossing non-fiction book “Creating a Life: Finding Your Individual Path” by Jungian psychologist James Hollis. I’ll review it on Goodreads when I’m finished reading it but, as I start the new life that awaits, I’ve been reflecting deeply on the life Beric and I lived: constantly striving, always work before play and, yes, we both achieved much more than we’d ever hoped for in our childhood dreams.
At what cost though?
Taking the first tottering steps into a future without my beloved Beric as my anchor and my guide, I find myself without the burning fire of ambition that has for so long been my companion.
Hollis put my mind at rest: “The first half of life is usually spent in service to the world and to the development of the ego. The second half of life should be in service to the soul. Turning away from the delusion of ambition opens a free space wherein things may be done for the sake of doing them, where value is found in the value created and where meaning is the by-product of service to a vocation, not service to the ego.” (Chapter 13: The End of Ambition”)
There’s so much comfort in knowing that it’s natural to the soul’s evolutionary path that the raging fires of youth’s ambitions can mellow into a gentle flame of finding meaning by exploring the simple pleasures of an ordinary life.
With a major lunar eclipse on Friday 10/1/2020, quickly followed by Uranus in Taurus stationing direct, followed two days later on 12/1/2020 with the much-discussed Great Capricorn Conjunction, 2020 is a year of changes, letting go the old and finding new beginnings on a deep and permanent level. Since my beloved Beric crossed over last year 22/4/2019, I've been taking it easy and slowly stepping into a new life without him. He is gone in body, but not in spirit and I know we'll meet again. That’s why I read Rabindranath Tagore’s beautiful poem "Unending Love" at his memorial service.
His beautiful spirit will always be with me and so I head into a new year and decade that's filled with both hope and memories. Hope for the fruition of all the new ventures I'm planning and memory of having been privileged to be part of an unending love story.
Some plans for 2020:
My two new kitties arrive today - 10 year old lady Gucci and 3 year old boy Mittens.
My main goal for 2020 is attending to my health (read weight!!) that has been out of control for too many years.
Then a 2020 writing challenge starting in February to finish off two half written books - a collection of short stories, and a volume of poetry about the grief and sorrow of being caregiver to a dying loved one for so many years (from 2015 to 2019).
I'm still expanding my astrology knowledge, via webinars from the London Faculty of Astrology College, and later in 2020 I'll be signing up for the 3 year diploma course to become a professional astrologer. And some time in the future (probably early 2021), I'll be revealing a whole new look for my website.
Exciting times ahead! I wish all of you a wonderful 2020 - may it be a year of discovery and joy for you all.