‘Another
diet article?’ you groan. ‘What good
will that do?’
I
guarantee you this one is worth it: it’ll turn you into a lean, mean writing
machine!
Why
is lean and mean better than flabby writing? Because the more words your reader
has to wade through to get to the point, the greater the chance she’ll put the
book down. And that’s not a good
thing!
Is
there a painless way to trim the flab? The bad news is: no, there isn’t. The
good news is: once you’ve learnt how to identify overinflated writing, you’ll
find that your future writing is automatically leaner. You’ll still have to
check and double-check for those pesky crutch words and clichéd phrases that
sneak in and pad the pages but, on the whole, you’ll find the more you trim
them, the less you’ll find them.
Let’s
re-read that last sentence, because one of my favourite crutch words, a cliché,
an unnecessary word and a poor word choice have crept in.
You’ll still
have to check and double-check for those pesky crutch words and clichéd phrases
that sneak in and pad the pages but, on the whole, you’ll find
the more you trim them, the less you’ll find them.
There!
I trimmed nine words without losing the effect of the sentence. See how slim and trim the sentence is now and
with no loss of meaning:
You’ll have to
check and double-check for those pesky crutch words and clichéd phrases that
pad the pages, but you’ll find the more you trim, the less you’ll find.
When
writing your first draft, forget about
trimming. Let the words flow freely,
otherwise you’ll be so busy watching for overwriting, you’ll paralyse your
muse. The time to ruthlessly trim excess words is during the revision stages of
your novel.
Here
are some pointers to help you identify what to trim:
·
Redundant words
and phrases: This is when you say the same thing twice and
repeat yourself. Uh. Let’s try that
again. That should be This is when you
say the same thing twice OR This is
when you repeat yourself. Not both,
because both phrases mean exactly the same. Oops! There I go again! I should
have said: Not both, because both the
phrases mean exactly the same.
Note: Unlike redundancy, repetition is
an important writing technique. If you repeat yourself, make it a conscious
writing strategy and understand why you have done so.
·
Overusing
intensifiers: I find this really very difficult. Do the
words “really” and “very” add anything meaningful? Saying I find this difficult expresses the sentiment in a less hysterical,
but no less effective, way. Don’t ban the use of common intensifiers such as really, very, severely, extremely; just
use them sparingly. That way their effect will be intensified rather than
overused.
·
Crutch words: When we speak,
we often say ‘um’ as a way to let our thought processes catch up with our
mouths. In writing, the same thing happens. We fill the spaces with crutch
words that add to the weight, but not the meaning, of our text. I have three crutch words I liberally
sprinkle into my writing: now, still
and only. What favourite crutch words do you use?
Identify them, trim them and make sure you don’t replace them with another
crutch word.
·
Filler phrases: Also known as
expletive constructions, a filler phrase is similar to a crutch word. These are
phrases we don’t notice because they silently fill the gaps in our thoughts as
we write. Common examples are it is, it was, there are, there is, there
were and it seems, often found at
the beginning of sentences. Eliminate these and jump straight into the action
of the sentence. It is expensive to paint the house becomes Painting the house is expensive.
·
Non-essential
information:
Make every word count. Why waste your reader’s time with information that’s
irrelevant, implied or obvious? He rode a
bicycle that was blue in colour is
not as trim as He rode a blue bicycle.
We all know that blue is a colour, so why tell us something so obvious?
·
Clichés and
Euphemisms:
This is a sign of both flabby and lazy writing. A cliché may once have
been the cat’s meow, but a reader gets as sick as a dog when she reads these tried
and true phrases time after time. And, last but not least, be as smart as a
whip, take the bull by the horns and respect your reader by keeping your work
as fresh as a daisy. Avoid euphemisms:
good writing tells the truth and tells it honestly. Not surgical air strikes, but bombing
raids. Not she went to sleep, but
she died.
·
Use Action
Verbs: Replace any form of the passive verb to be (is, are, were, was, have been,
will be) with strong, active verbs. The
reason that England went to war with Germany was because Hitler invaded Poland
becomes Hitler invaded Poland, and
England declared war against Germany.
As
Strunk and White tell us in the classic Elements of Style:
Vigorous
writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph
no unnecessary sentences....this requires not that the writer make all
sentences short, or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline, but
that every word tell. (23)
Flabby writing obscures your meaning and
frustrates your reader. Comb your
manuscript for unnecessary words. Trim the flab without loss of meaning. Let
your writing be lean, crisp and attractive. And keep your readers reading.
Bibliography
(This article was first published in October 2010 as a guest post on the now defunct ROWSA website)